Thoughts.

 i haven’t posted in a really long time, mostly because i have been busy but also because i didn’t really have anything to say. but now i do. and don’t worry, it’s not political. 🙃 there’s just a lot on my mind and i need somewhere to put it, and this seemed as good a place as any. recently our world has been falling a part a little. a lot. but it really struck me today that through all of that, God is still good. he’s still in complete control, which means i don’t need to have control. that’s the basic root of anxiety, wanting to have control but feeling like you don’t, because let’s be realistic, we don’t. there’s so many things we can’t control, that it becomes incredibly overwhelming and depressing. it’s hard to live in a world where you feel like your hold on control is slipping, even though you never really had control anyway. when you throw other extremely complicated human beings on top of the general chaos of life, it gets even worse. as humans we crave the love and attention and respect of other people, even if that’s not really what we need. we strive constantly for it, and come up feeling worse than before, because that’s NOT ever going to completely fulfill us. not even close. time and time again in my own life i’ve seen this. i get so caught up in human relationships and interactions, dissecting and overthinking everything, that it becomes an extremely stressful part of my life, and it’s not supposed to be that way. our relationships with other people should encourage and strengthen us, but when we put too much value into them, it just drains us even more. that’s been a struggle for me for a long time. being invested in my relationships with others, but not so much that they become an idol and the most important thing to me. it’s hard. life is hard. it’s all going to be hard, and Jesus never promised following him would be easy. but he promised peace when we trust fully in him.